As the year is coming to an end, I guess I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. And, it occurred to me, why I run.
I run because it proves to me that I am a strong woman. Running proves to me that I have the endurance to power through obstacles, to “breathe and smile” when the route gets rough, and most importantly that I am not a quitter.
I have faced some giant obstacles in the past two years personally with an engagement called off just two months prior to the wedding date. At that time, I was just starting to prepare to train for my first marathon (I had signed up months before). Running is an outlet. Running gives me clarity. The pavement doesn’t care how hard I stomp on it to alleviate agression, fear, heartache, and anger. Running makes me stronger.
As I trained this year for two marathons, I continued to feel the exhileration of pushing myself to new heights. Incorporating speed drills, longer training runs, joining a running group (and subsequently meeting some incredibly inspirational people!). I’ve got this. I’ve got what it takes to tackle challenges and to rise above the pain.
After I finished the Chicago Marathon in October this year, I was overcome with emotion and tears that just kept streaming one night. You see, the called off engagement hasn’t been the only roadblock I’ve run through. I’ve survived an “unhealthy” marriage (to put it, um, nicely…), ultimately ending in a nasty divorce. It’s not something I openly share with many people. But after that race, it really hit me. I run because no matter what anyone has said to try to knock me down, I am strong. And I feel strong when I run. I know that if I can cross the finish line, if I can endure the pain, the self-doubt, and the fatigue that comes along the way during the race, well, I can overcome anything.
If you know me today, you wouldn’t have recognized the person I was eight years ago. I was a shell of a person, living inside a body without passion, purpose, or reason. I basically had every ounce of self-worth shaken out of me. The miles I pound out on the pavement in my training to run the race, are to me symbolic of the miles I’ve come to be who I am today.
An unashamedly passionate, strong person, who can be a bit of a “girly-girl”.
I run because I am a survivor.