Death by Treadmill

It’s time to fess up.  I’ve been withholding a very funny incident that occurred while I was traveling last week…

Monday morning of last week I woke up Chicago, tired and I’ll admit it, a little hung over.  On the training plan for the morning: speed drills of 8×800’s with 200 recovery. I was NOT feeling it, but dragged myself out of the comfy, plush bed (I’m getting to love the Hyatt!) and parked myself on a treadmill in the fitness center.  I was surprised at the number of people there early on a Monday morning and as I started into my workout, it really filled up with every treadmill taken. The treadmills were quite fancy with touch screens that were pretty finicky, not always registering what you were hitting.

After the 4th 800, I thought I might puke.  I wanted to give up.  But I’m not a quitter, if you haven’t gathered that by now reading my previous posts and there would be no benefit to me whatsoever if I didn’t finish what I set out to do.  So, I ran on.  I felt “off” and a little light-headed, which most likely contributed to what happened next.  I started my 5th 800.  Anxiously watching the distance creep up, as soon as I hit the .48 mark, I started hitting the button to slow down.  Only, I didn’t hit the speed down button, I started hitting the UP button!  Before I knew it, I was at a 4:00 min/mile pace!  Holy crap!  Complete panic rose within me.  I started pushing down, but remember I mentioned above that the treadmill was finicky?  Well, sweat-soaked fingers were not registering on the touch screen.  I grabbed the sides of the treadmill and attempted to jump and straddle the moving belt.  My left leg landed solid.  My right leg?  Well, it didn’t make it.  Let me paint the picture:

Woman, drenched in sweat.  Treadmill moving at an unrealistic speed.  Bracing myself up on the sidebars. One leg safely solid, unmoving on the side bar.  One leg skidding along making a loud “thump, thump, thump” noise as it skidded along on the speeding belt.

Now this is FUNNY!  If it hadn’t been me, I would have DIED laughing at this scene!

I was silently saying some choice words in my head as I mustered the strength to pull my right leg safely to the side bar and hit the emergency stop button.  As the belt started to slow down and come to a stop, I glanced around.  As I noted before, all the treadmills were being used and the fitness center was full as well.  NO one was even looking my direction!  The person directly next to me kept her eyes fixated on the TV in front of her.  I smiled and bit the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing out loud.  How could it be that no one else saw the humor in this?  That no one was even going to be honest that this was probably the funniest thing they’d witness that day?  No one even acknowledged that it happened!  Not even an “are you ok??”  Although, I’m sure many who were in that fitness center shared the story with friends later.  I mean, come on, how could you NOT share that scene?

So, I started the treadmill up again and knocked out my last 2 speed drills.  The treadmill did not take me down… this time!


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