“There are a million reasons why you can’t. Focus on the few reasons why you can.”
This quote is speaking volumes to me this morning. I’ve been beating myself up this week. Focusing on negatives. Everything I’ve been doing wrong in my training this time around.
I haven’t been disciplined in my diet. I haven’t been getting the sleep I need. I haven’t had much self-control at all, which is very unlike me. As a result, my runs have not felt great. I feel out of shape. I know I can and should be doing better.
Yesterday was the Grand Blue Mile run to kick off the Drake Relays held in Des Moines this weekend. I was focusing on all the of the negatives yesterday before the race. I set the bar last year and I wanted to beat my time. However, since I haven’t been diligent and disciplined of late, I felt like it would be a struggle. I worked up my nerves and by the start of the race, I was anxious. Could I do it? I didn’t know.
As I started out, I tripped over a little boy who cut me off when he sprinted right in front of me. Flailing around so I wouldn’t fall on my face, I caught myself, regained my stride, and sprinted down Locust to catch up to Andrea. Once we were side by side, we pushed each other. I was breathing hard, but I felt good. Probably too good. We rounded the two corners on 6th Avenue to the last stretch on Grand. I was still feeling good. I remembered how I felt at that exact point last year, like I was going to puke or pass out on the spot. I was still breathing hard and steady. As we got closer to the finish line, I picked up my pace. Andrea stayed in step beside me. I managed to finished 2 seconds faster than last year- 6:38.
While I’m disappointed in my time, I can tell by how I felt at the finish that I have gotten stronger. Last year, I was done at the finish. Completely wiped out. Sick, even. This year, I felt great. I wasn’t hurting. I was breathing. I felt like I could run longer, at that pace. That’s progress. I need to let go of the “I can’t” – what’s holding me back and focus on the “I can” – which will push me farther.