Thanks to my friend, Kate, for absolutely nailing the state I’m in! I have been a mess of emotions this past week. And I pride myself on not being an overly emotional person- so you can imagine, finding myself with little control over my emotions is quite frightening to me! (yes, I did just re-read this and fully recognize and own that it screams control freak!)
After a morning therapy session with my running buddies, I was still feeling pretty “rattled” for lack of a better word. Kate summed it up perfectly this afternoon. I’m simply experiencing post-race blues. She said it so very matter of factly, that it must truly exist! (right??) She explained it to me this way: I’ve been preparing for the Tucson marathon for four months, building it up in my mind, ramping up weekly mileage, testing myself and pushing myself to new limits, and really shocking myself with my training progress. And then… in one morning… it’s all over. There is nothing more to look forward to. It’s done. All the build-up and anticipation is gone. It’s just not there anymore. I did have to laugh as she explained it. I mean, I’ve heard of this happening to others. The funny part is, when it’s been explained to me before, it’s from people asking me about my upcoming wedding and “won’t I be so sad when the day is over?” My answer has been “no- absolutely not!” Like I stated above, I am sort of a control freak, and that includes keeping my emotions in check. So, not surprisingly, I have not become a crazed wedding planner or caught up in the details. For me, the wedding is 1 day. It’s the beginning, not the end. The goal is to get married and spend the rest of our lives together and that is what I’m looking forward to the most. Sure, partying with our friends is going to be fun! And we will have the rest of our lives to keep on partying with them after the wedding :).
Another funny correlation I drew recently was when my friends were sharing their birthing stories with me. They were describing how painful it was at times and how much work it was, but in the end, they loved their husband so much more! They said they felt more connected to their spouse than ever! Again, I had to laugh and, admittedly, I know I sounded crazy to my non-running friends, but that was how I felt running the marathon with Josh. It was painful, I was sick, it was a lot of work, but at that finish line, I felt more connected to him than ever before. Sure, running a marathon isn’t exactly the same as giving birth, but I made the connection nonetheless.
In the meantime, any suggestions on how to fight these postpartum, I mean post-race blues? Bring them on! 🙂