Miss Lyla will be 7 weeks old tomorrow- it has gone SO fast! Hence- no blog updates!
We are all transitioning into our new dynamic as a family of 3 humans and 3 puppies. I wish I could sit here and write that it has been an absolute fairy tale since we brought Lyla home- but- well- LIFE! Life is chaotic and that is the beauty in it, isn’t it?
Lyla is a sweet girl and really she is a very easy baby to care for. She is already sleeping between 5-6 hours at night and has been eating consistently throughout the day and night. She is already weighing in at 7 pounds! Our pediatrician continues to be very happy with her progress.
Lyla is also a very strong girl- she proved that she was from the very beginning when she stayed out of the NICU in the hospital in Utah. Now, even though she is tiny, she is a mighty warrior. She is passing all the normal milestones for her age and development like batting at the hanging animals and rattles on her activity gym play mat, gripping our fingers hair, necklaces… whatever she can wrap her tiny fingers around(!), turning her head to the sound of our voices and she is even rolling over from tummy to back!
We are absolutely in love. It’s hard to believe at times that God has really blessed us with her- that she is our DAUGHTER! I still find that I tear up at the most random times (like driving home from the store) as I think about how good and how faithful God has been to us. We have a daughter!
So I ask that you all continue to pray for us. You have been so faithful in praying throughout our journey – and it’s far from over. Please continue to pray that we will continue to transition into this new norm- that we will find the right fit for who we are as a family of 3 (humans and 3 puppies 🙂 ). That Lyla will grow to know how very much she is loved. That she will grow to know the love of GOD.
The transition thus far has been relatively easy. As I mentioned in the beginning, life is chaotic and seems to throw you curve balls at the most inopportune times.
Less that one week after we arrived back home with Lyla, one of our pups, Shadow had an episode of bloat. If you don’t know what that is- his stomach basically flipped upside down and cut off blood to internal and very necessary organs. It was very scary. Thankfully, Josh knew something very serious was occurring and called the emergency vet immediately. We packed up Lyla and rushed to the doggy hospital as fast as we could. I met my mom in the parking lot and handed Lyla off to her. Shadow was very fortunate to be on the operating table within an hour of when symptoms started.
He is a champ and is doing GREAT post-surgery. He is actually out on a long run with Josh as I write this.
About a week after Shadow came home from the doggy hospital, I came down with a nasty virus. I was sicker than I have been in decades- unbelievable!
All I have to say, is this is not what I pictured motherhood would look like-
I didn’t go near Lyla for 4 out of the 10 days and wore a mask for all the other days I remained under the weather.
As soon as I started to recover, Lyla caught her first cold. Poor thing was coughing so much, she actually lost her voice and could only squeak out a dry, hoarse cry. Thankfully, she never spiked a fever and we were able to treat her symptoms with an over the counter infant saline spray.
Then it was Josh’s turn. He caught what I had and endured through a week of nasty symptoms as well.
It was a rough 3 1/2 weeks. Not quite what I expected her first month home to be like. But, you roll with it, right?.
I’m learning how to roll with other ‘unexpecteds’ during this transition time.
I swore I wasn’t going to be one of those moms who became scattered brain, overly emotional and over-tired. I was sure those were all tied to pregnancy hormones and I was exempt since we adopted Lyla. It’s ok– go ahead and laugh out loud at me now. Because I now know with absolute certainty, none of those things have anything to do with pregnancy– and I am most definitely not exempt.
So, struggling to find words that should be on the tip of my tongue is a REAL challenge. Struggling to pay attention to what others are saying is a REAL challenge.
I am a high functioning, ambitious and active person. But now I am left feeling as though I can barely get myself through one single day. So, where does that leave me? Who am I now? And is the old me gone forever?
I have a constant internal battle of what is rational and what is irrational. I have a desire to please others- that is who I am- most times to a fault. And I know that right now, I have to do what is best for my family. That means saying no to a lot of things I would normally say yes to. And I feel awful inside about it. I feel selfish. And, I know it’s the best thing for right now.
Don’t get me wrong here- I absolutely cherish and love being Lyla’s mama (MA-MA– we’re working on it being her first word. Her first sentence will be MaMa is Lyla’s bestie.)
And just as the pieces of our adoption came together when we were matched with Lyla, I am confident that all these pieces will come together very soon. As a friend counseled me yesterday, all of these phases will seem like they last forever when you are in the midst of them, but in reality they are very short.
And so, I’m excited to find out- who am I as Lyla’s mama? Who is Josh as Lyla’s dada? And I must remember (because honestly, remembering to pray even takes a lot of effort right now) to thank God that He led us through a journey that has only strengthened our marriage. I know with certainty that whoever we are as Lyla’s parents, we will continue to have a rock solid marriage because we are build on a rock solid foundation.
We will find our ‘right fit’.